Self-Harm and Emotional Regulation Support
Supporting children and teens struggling with self-harm and emotional regulation requires empathy, patience, and the right tools.
Self-Harm Support
What is self-harm?
Self-harm (also called non-suicidal self-injury or NSSI) is when someone deliberately hurts themselves — often to cope with overwhelming emotions. It can be a way to feel a sense of control or to express pain they struggle to verbalise.
How can I help?
I offer a safe, non-judgmental space: Let the child know they’re not "bad" or "broken" — they’re just using unhealthy coping mechanisms.
- Identify triggers: Work together to spot patterns — when and why do they feel the urge to self-harm?
- Safety plans: Develop a plan for what to do when they feel the urge, including people they can contact.
- CBT or DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy): skills which focuses on emotional regulation.
Emotional Regulation Techniques
Why is emotional regulation important?
Many children who self-harm struggle with managing big emotions like anger, sadness, or anxiety. Emotional regulation teaches them how to process these feelings without resorting to harmful behaviours.
Practical techniques to teach:
Grounding exercises:
5-4-3-2-1 method: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. Helps break the cycle of overwhelming thoughts.
Breathing techniques:
Box breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Reduces panic and calms the nervous system.
Emotion labelling:
Use "feelings charts" to name emotions — understanding what they're feeling is the first step to managing it.
Distress tolerance skills (from DBT):
TIPP skills:
- Temp change (cold water on face)
- Intense exercise
- Paced breathing
- Progressive muscle relaxation